Three-Date Relationship Ends, Nation Begins Healing
By Thurston P. Bootstrap IV, National Heartbreak Recovery Correspondent
Medford, Massachusetts—Americans began the difficult process of healing Wednesday after officials confirmed that a promising local relationship had ended following three dates, abruptly closing one of the most consequential romantic chapters of the week.
Millennial Declares Bankruptcy After Buying 3 Coffees and a Candle
Financial Analysts Say, “Yeah, That Tracks.”