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European Parliament Unveils Naked Trump Statue, Officials Confirm Nobody Asked for This

STRASBOURG, FRANCE — European lawmakers were forced to temporarily set aside pressing matters of international security, economic policy, and climate change this week after an enormous golden statue of a naked Donald Trump appeared inside the European Parliament, raising serious questions about both the state of global diplomacy and who approved the building's decorations.

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Pope Clarifies AI Destroying Humanity Would Not Be ‘Fake News’

VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo XIV clarified that artificial intelligence wiping out the human race would constitute an actual event, even if people disliked the outlets reporting it.

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Trump Named Greatest President in Prestigious Survey Conducted by Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has been named the greatest president in American history following an extensive and highly competitive review conducted by Donald Trump.

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Trump Threatens Iran With WWII-Level CAPS LOCK

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump escalated tensions with Iran late Saturday by deploying levels of CAPS LOCK not seen since World War II, unleashing a concentrated barrage of capital letters across Truth Social and placing the entire Persian Gulf on heightened typographical alert.

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