MENLO PARK, CA — Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg thanked thousands of employees this week for their years of service, their tireless commitment to innovation, and most importantly, their direct contributions toward building a technological future in which Meta will apparently need far fewer of them.

“These decisions weigh heavily on me,” executive says while adjusting infinity pool temperature

“I went through all five stages of grief, and now they want me to log back into Outlook?”