Pope Clarifies AI Destroying Humanity Would Not Be ‘Fake News’
VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo XIV clarified that artificial intelligence wiping out the human race would constitute an actual event, even if people disliked the outlets reporting it.
AI Companies Reach Historic Agreement That AI Is Dangerous, Immediately Resume Building AI
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The world’s leading artificial intelligence companies reached a historic consensus Wednesday that their technology poses a profound threat to humanity, signing a joint declaration before returning to their offices to make it considerably more powerful.
Zuckerberg Thanks Staff for Helping Build Future That No Longer Requires Them
MENLO PARK, CA — Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg thanked thousands of employees this week for their years of service, their tireless commitment to innovation, and most importantly, their direct contributions toward building a technological future in which Meta will apparently need far fewer of them.
Area Woman Trusts Algorithm To Inform Her, Immediately Becomes Misinformed
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local woman Emily Carter, 29, reportedly placed full trust in her social media algorithm to keep her informed on current events Tuesday, before becoming “almost instantly and impressively misinformed” on multiple topics within minutes.
Allied Nation Assures Citizens Leader Totally Real Despite Having “Slightly More Fingers Than Expected”
JERUSALEM — Government officials assured citizens Friday that their nation’s leader remains “completely real and definitely human” after a recent public address prompted widespread speculation that the Prime Minister may have been replaced by an artificial intelligence duplicate.
Zoom Introduces “Cry Filter” for Realistic Corporate Meetings
Now you can sob and look professional.
AI Takes the Controls as Air Traffic Controllers Work Without Pay — and Patience
AI Takes the Controls as Air Traffic Controllers Work Without Pay — and Patience