AI Takes the Controls as Air Traffic Controllers Work Without Pay — and Patience
By Autopilot Desk Correspondent — Washington D.C.
(October 29, 2025)
WASHINGTON D.C. — With the federal government shutdown dragging into its fifth week, weary air-traffic controllers have found an unlikely coworker: artificial intelligence.
According to the FAA, some 13,000 controllers have been working without pay since October 1, while thousands of support staff remain furloughed. As morale dips and coffee consumption soars, officials quietly rolled out an experimental AI system, “SkAI Control 9000,” to “help manage the nation’s skies and maybe send a few inspirational quotes to the pilots.”
“SkAI’s already handling routine radio chatter, rerouting flights, and reminding human controllers to hydrate,” said Transportation Secretary April Jetson. “It doesn’t need sleep, health insurance, or emotional validation—though we’re considering giving it a therapy app.”
Union leaders expressed cautious optimism. “If SkAI can work 24/7 without pay, maybe it can explain to Congress how that feels,” said National Air Traffic Controllers Association spokesperson Pat Signals. “Until then, we’ll keep showing up—because someone has to keep this circus in the air.”
Reports show flight delays have skyrocketed—at some airports, 10 times higher than normal—as the staffing shortage worsens. The FAA insists safety is not compromised, though passengers at LaGuardia were unsettled when SkAI briefly replaced “Welcome to New York” with “Prepare for turbulence, both physical and existential.”
Meanwhile, human controllers continue to work long hours for zero paychecks. One unnamed worker summarized the mood: “I’ve started charging my stress to the frequent-flyer program.”
For now, the FAA says SkAI Control 9000 will remain “in a limited support role”—defined internally as doing everything except the things humans used to get paid for.
Travelers are advised to keep their seatbelts fastened, their expectations grounded, and their gratitude extended to the exhausted humans still holding the skies together—at least until the next software update learns sarcasm.