Congress Announces New Budget to Fund Debates About Funding Budgets

Lawmakers Praise “Historic Investment in Talking About Talking About Money”

By Bureaucracy Desk Correspondent, The Daily Hyperbole

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a rare moment of bipartisan agreement, Congress has officially passed a $48 billion budget dedicated solely to funding future debates about potential budgets.

“This is a monumental step forward in our nation’s fiscal discourse,” said Senator Dana Whitmore, proudly unveiling a 1,200-page document labeled ‘Preliminary Framework for Future Discussions of Potential Budgetary Priorities.’ “We’re finally allocating resources to talk about allocating resources.”

The new initiative, dubbed The Meta-Financial Responsibility Act, ensures that each subcommittee will now have its own dedicated debate subcommittee to discuss how to debate the main committee’s approach to budgeting.

House leaders confirmed that a majority of the funds will go toward installing upgraded microphones for grandstanding, a new espresso machine for marathon hearings, and an AI note-taker trained exclusively to summarize filibusters.

“This program guarantees that no dollar will be spent without first spending millions to discuss how to spend it,” said Rep. Jorge Andrews, chair of the Committee for Fiscal Conversation Oversight Oversight.

Economists, meanwhile, have expressed cautious optimism. “Historically, debates about the budget have been underfunded,” said Dr. Fiona Patel of Georgetown University. “By investing directly in the debate process, Congress has successfully turned bureaucracy into a self-sustaining economic engine.”