WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move to restore public trust, the United States Senate has voted to ban lawmakers and staff from placing bets on prediction markets involving wars, elections, economic crashes, and other events they may have accidentally learned about during classified briefings.

In a stirring bipartisan display of principle, members of Congress pledged Tuesday to crack down on corruption immediately following an elegant private fundraiser attended by several of the nation’s largest defense contractors, lobbyists, consultants, and “concerned stakeholders” with active financial interests in never-ending war.

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