Wall Street Traders Switch to Ouija Boards for Market Predictions

News Correspondent 10/3/25 News Correspondent 10/3/25

Wall Street Traders Switch to Ouija Boards for Market Predictions

News Correspondent 10/1/25 News Correspondent 10/1/25

IT Guy Proposes Shutting Off Entire Internet to Fix Spotty Wi-Fi

IT Guy Proposes Shutting Off Entire Internet to Fix Spotty Wi-Fi

News Correspondent 9/24/25 News Correspondent 9/24/25

Cause of Autism Revealed

Cause of Autism Revealed

News Correspondent 9/12/25 News Correspondent 9/12/25

Scientists Declare Earth Officially ‘A Hot Girl Summer’ Planet

hot girl summer = global warming???
Get your crop tops out

News Correspondent 9/4/25 News Correspondent 9/4/25

Tech Company Accidentally Invents Toaster That Thinks It’s a CEO

a rather toasty CEO

News Correspondent 9/3/25 News Correspondent 9/3/25

Scientists Confirm Coffee Is Both Cure and Cause of All Known Ailments

Scientists Confirm Coffee Is Both Cure and Cause of All Known Ailments

News Correspondent 9/2/25 News Correspondent 9/2/25

Nation Shocked to Learn Recycling Bin Just Fancy Trash Can

Nation Shocked to Learn Recycling Bin Just Fancy Trash Can

News Correspondent 8/12/25 News Correspondent 8/12/25

Trump Announces New Economic Plan to Replace Currency With Collectible Trading Cards Featuring Himself

trump announces new economic plan to replace currency with collectible trading cards featuring himself

News Correspondent 8/10/25 News Correspondent 8/10/25

World Leaders Baffled as History Rewrites Itself ‘Again’

World Leaders Baffled as History Rewrites Itself ‘Again’