WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States has officially renewed its premium war subscription with Iran after allowing a complimentary ceasefire trial to expire, White House officials confirmed Thursday.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold tribute to 250 years of American independence, Treasury officials confirmed Thursday that the nation may celebrate its semiquincentennial by introducing a commemorative $250 bill and then immediately asking the most underpaid workers in the country to decide whether it is real.