STRASBOURG, FRANCE — European lawmakers were forced to temporarily set aside pressing matters of international security, economic policy, and climate change this week after an enormous golden statue of a naked Donald Trump appeared inside the European Parliament, raising serious questions about both the state of global diplomacy and who approved the building's decorations.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has been named the greatest president in American history following an extensive and highly competitive review conducted by Donald Trump.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold tribute to 250 years of American independence, Treasury officials confirmed Thursday that the nation may celebrate its semiquincentennial by introducing a commemorative $250 bill and then immediately asking the most underpaid workers in the country to decide whether it is real.