BEIJING, CHINA — President Donald Trump’s high-stakes state visit to China reportedly yielded a major diplomatic breakthrough Thursday after the president cracked open a fortune cookie at a formal banquet and discovered a tiny slip of paper reading: “Iran will never have a nuclear weapon.”

JERUSALEM — Government officials assured citizens Friday that their nation’s leader remains “completely real and definitely human” after a recent public address prompted widespread speculation that the Prime Minister may have been replaced by an artificial intelligence duplicate.