Trump Threatens Iran With WWII-Level CAPS LOCK
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump escalated tensions with Iran late Saturday by deploying levels of CAPS LOCK not seen since World War II, unleashing a concentrated barrage of capital letters across Truth Social and placing the entire Persian Gulf on heightened typographical alert.
Experts Praise Iran Peace Deal As Bold First Step Toward Next Iran War
WASHINGTON, D.C. —
Foreign policy experts across Washington praised the newly announced Iran peace deal Monday, calling it “a historic breakthrough” and “an essential first step toward establishing the conditions necessary for the next Iran war.”
Economists Warn War May Be Bad For Prices, Consumers, Supply Chains, And Everyone Involved
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning breakthrough that experts are calling “obvious in hindsight and also obvious beforehand,” leading economists warned Thursday that war may be bad for prices, consumers, supply chains, fuel costs, grocery bills, household budgets, global stability, and nearly everyone directly or indirectly involved.
Peace Talks Enter Exciting New Phase Where Everyone Keeps Bombing Each Other
WASHINGTON / TEHRAN — Negotiations to end the rapidly escalating conflict between the United States and Iran reportedly entered a promising new phase Tuesday after both sides confirmed they were still committed to peace, provided they could continue exchanging carefully calibrated explosions between diplomatic statements.
Iran Lifts Internet Blackout Long Enough to Announce Internet Blackout Still In Effect
Brief Restoration Confirms Nothing Has Changed