TSA Agents Reportedly Calling Out Sick With “Sudden Interest In Being Paid”
ATLANTA, GA — As the Department of Homeland Security shutdown drags into another week, TSA agents across the country are reportedly calling out of work in record numbers, citing a recently discovered condition known as “wanting a paycheck.”
Nation Waits Patiently For Someone To Be Held Accountable For Literally Anything
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Citizens across the United States confirmed Monday that they are continuing to wait patiently for someone—anyone—to be held accountable for something.
Man Who Can’t Name Three Branches of Government Absolutely Certain Constitution Says What He Thinks It Says
Man Who Can’t Name Three Branches of Government Absolutely Certain Constitution Says What He Thinks It Says
Man Who “Does His Own Research” Announces Breakthrough After Watching 11 TikToks
Experts Stunned By Confidence Alone
Congress Votes That Health Insurance Premiums “Don’t Matter,” Americans Encouraged To Pay Astronomical Amounts Out of Pocket
Congress Votes That Health Insurance Premiums “Don’t Matter,” Americans Encouraged To Pay Astronomical Amounts Out of Pocket
AI Takes the Controls as Air Traffic Controllers Work Without Pay — and Patience
AI Takes the Controls as Air Traffic Controllers Work Without Pay — and Patience
Lawmakers Float Bold New Plan: Castration for All Men, “Just to Be Safe”
Lawmakers Float Bold New Plan: Castration for All Men, “Just to Be Safe”