Canadian Wildfire Smoke Crosses Border Without Proper Documentation

BOSTON, MA — Federal officials confirmed Thursday that a massive cloud of Canadian wildfire smoke entered the United States without a passport, visa, work permit, customs declaration, or even the basic courtesy of stopping at a designated border checkpoint.

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Local Bar Assures Patrons More Beer Is Coming As Soon As Scotland Is Eliminated

BOSTON, MA —

A Boston-area bar issued a statement Thursday assuring concerned patrons that additional beer is expected to arrive “almost immediately” after Scotland is eliminated from the World Cup and its traveling supporters stop consuming alcohol at a rate previously believed to be theoretical.

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