Man Forgets Password, Recovers Enlightenment Instead

By Bytey McHuman, Digital Spirituality Desk
Location: Boulder, Colorado

After locking himself out of his email for the 37th time, Miles Avery, 34, claims he accidentally achieved enlightenment while attempting to recall his password.

“I sat perfectly still and emptied my mind,” he said. “Then suddenly — no thoughts, no self, just the infinite loading screen of the universe.”

Coworkers noticed him glowing faintly near the office microwave. “He kept muttering his old passwords like mantras: ‘P@ssword1… LetMeIn2024… LotusFlower78,’” said teammate Dana Quinn. “Then he just… smiled. Forever.”

IT later confirmed Avery’s account password had been reset automatically hours earlier. Still, the company’s wellness program is now piloting “Password Meditation Mondays,” inviting employees to transcend authentication anxiety.

Avery, meanwhile, no longer requires credentials. “Once you know who you are,” he said, “you’re always logged in.”