SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The world’s leading artificial intelligence companies reached a historic consensus Wednesday that their technology poses a profound threat to humanity, signing a joint declaration before returning to their offices to make it considerably more powerful.

Legal experts urge calm as Americans struggle to determine criminal intent of beach décor

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States found itself sharply divided this week after a set of seashells arranged on a beach became the center of a heated national debate over whether inanimate coastal objects are capable of committing federal crimes.