Area Woman Makes Awkward Eye Contact With Man She Rejected On Morning Commute

A local woman’s Tuesday morning commute took a dramatic turn after she accidentally made direct eye contact with a man she recently rejected, forcing both parties to acknowledge, for approximately 1.7 seconds, that they are still alive and using the same public transportation system.

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I Went on Three Dates and Now I Understand the Male Loneliness Epidemic

Local Woman Conducts Field Research, Confirms Widespread Shortage of Follow-Up Questions

NEW YORK, N.Y. — What began as a casual return to the dating scene quickly escalated into what one woman now describes as “a fully immersive case study” on the modern male loneliness epidemic.

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Area Woman Creates Detailed Pros/Cons List About Man She Continues Dating Anyway

CHICAGO, IL — Local woman Jenna Morales, 28, confirmed Tuesday that she has created an increasingly detailed pros and cons list evaluating a man she has been dating for several weeks, despite remaining “completely undecided” on whether she actually likes him.

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Woman Googles Man For 45 Minutes, Achieves Forensic Science Certification

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Celebrating Women's History Month by honoring generations of female intellectual achievement, local woman Mary Kelly reportedly completed the academic equivalent of a graduate degree in Forensic Science Thursday night after spending 45 minutes Googling a man she matched with on a dating app.

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